Lilo's Stitchy Date
by Benderine
Summary: "Be good and don't leave the house,Stitch." What the heck did she mean 'don't leave the house? What did she think he would do anyways? Follow her on her date with that icky Keoni?...On second thought, that was actually a *very* good idea.


"Listen Stitch, sooner or later you'll have to get used to me going out with boys," Seventeen year old Lilo said, looking at herself in the mirror. She gave her red dress another approving glance before turning around to look at Stitch's bed.

"Naga!"

The blue alien was sitting on his bed, arms and legs crossed. He absolutely refused to look at Lilo, deciding instead to stare at the wall with a positively furious scowl. Lilo sighed and walked over to sit next to him.

"Stitch."

Stitch turned his head away from her. "Hmph!"

"Little girl! Boy is here to be picking you up!" Jumba's voice called from downstairs.

"Oh!" Lilo jumped up and quickly kissed Stitch on the top of his head. "I have to go but I'll be home early." Lilo ran to the platform and just before standing on top of it, she looked at Stitch's back. "Be good and don't leave the house."

Stitch listened quietly until he heard the front door slam. The second he saw Lilo get inside the car, he violently got up and started pacing on top of his bed. "Be good, Stitch. Don't leave the house, Stitch," he imitated Lilo. What the heck did she mean 'don't leave the house'? Where could he even go anyways? It's not like he was planning on following her. Actually...Why wasn't he planning on following her?

Stitch slapped his hand against his forehand. Why didn't he think of it before? He snickered and jumped towards the platform. Once he was on the first floor, he made his way to the front door and started opening it.

"Six-two-six!"

Darn! Stitch turned around to look at his creator. "Ih, Jumba?" he said with a long-suffering voice.

The four eyed alien looked at Stitch suspiciously. "Well, Six-two-six, evil genius is just curious of _why_ you are _leaving_ at such _late_ hour."

"Stitch follow Lilo. Stitch protect Lilo from Keoni," Stitch explained, spitting the last word out as if though it tasted awful.

"Are you sure you don't mean 'Stitch want to ruin date'?"

Stitch's silence and glaring eyes were enough of an answer for Jumba. "Little Girl asked Jumba to make sure you don't get out of the house, Six-two-six."

"B-But, Jumba!" Stitch blurted out. How could Jumba condone Lilo going out with that icky, filthy, surfer-wannabe?

"Ah ah ah! Let me be finishing, Six-two-six," Jumba interrupted, raising his hand to silence the blue alien. "Even though Little Girl asked Jumba to stop you from going, I am liking this evil attitude of yours so I'm letting you do this."

Letting out a victorious shout, Stitch opened the front door and rushed off. Jumba waited until Stitch was out of sight before closing the door and smiling to himself. _I never liked that Keoni boy anyway._

It didn't take long for Stitch to reach Lilo and Keoni's restaurant. People were waiting in line outside of the restaurant and when Stitch looked inside, the whole place was packed. After a few minutes, he finally found Lilo and Keoni. They were sitting in a small, two person table and, to Stitch's horror, the table was in a rather secluded spot.

Determined now more than ever to end this horrible date, Stitch quickly crawled inside the restaurant through an open window and, before anyone could spot him, climbed up to the ceiling. The first thing he did was place himself right on top of Lilo and Keoni. To his luck (and disgust) the two teenagers were too busy staring at each other to notice Stitch.

"Lilo, you really look beautiful today," Keoni said coolly, smiling at Lilo.

Lilo blushed and giggled. "Thanks, Keoni."

Gosh, Stitch could just _GAG_ at how icky they were acting. He wanted to throw up- he was _that_ disgusted (and hey! With good aim it could probably fall on top of Keoni!). While Stitch pictured Keoni soaked with alien vomit, a waiter approached the table.

"Hello, can I take your orders?"

"Yes, please," Keoni answered. "I'd like the Chef's Special Steak. How about you, pretty lady?" he asked Lilo, grinning at her.

"Oh Keoni, stop," Lilo giggled, blushing.

Keoni's grin grew bigger. "It's the truth, Lilo."

_JUST ORDER ALREADY_, Stitch thought desperately, not sure how much more he could take of Lilo's goofy behavior.

As if she had heard him, Lilo grabbed the menu and looked at the waiter. "Hmm, well, I think I'll have the spinach soup, please."

_Spinach soup? Did she just order spinach soup? SHE HATES SPINACH_, Stitch thought, completely flabbergasted. Not only did Keoni have Lilo acting like a smitten five year old, now he was brainwashing her into eating _disgusting_ and _healthy_ food. Stitch looked around and saw that there were no empty tables in the restaurant. If he could somehow destroy their table, then they would have to end the date since they'd have no where else to sit. Stitch quickly crawled down the wall and onto the floor, hiding behind a large flower pot. After taking a deep-breath, the blue alien zoomed towards Lilo's table and, in less than five seconds, snapped two of the table's legs and returned to his hiding place.

He watched with satisfaction as the table fell on top of Keoni (serves him right!). In less than a heartbeat, Lilo had gotten up and ran over to help Keoni get up. A waited rushed towards them and moved the table away.

"H-How did that happen?" Keoni asked, once he had gotten up.

"It seems like two of the table's legs were snapped apart," the waiter informed, looking at the table.

"But they were totally fine a few minutes ago," Lilo muttered. "And it's not like someone could have broken them- I mean, unless it was inhumanely fast like..." She drifted off for a few seconds before suddenly looking around furiously and whispering, "Stitch, if you're here, I swear I'm going to kill you."

"Uhm, so can you move us to another table?" Keoni asked while Lilo looked around furiously for the blue culprit (who was still hiding behind the flower pot).

"Unfortunately, we do not have any more tables available," the waiter began, "except for the honeymoon table which you need to reserve."

Keoni sighed. "Aw, man. This isn't go-"

"But," interrupted the waiter, "it is currently empty so I will move you to it."

The two teenagers (and Stitch) followed the waiter up to the second floor of the restaurant. They entered a big room where a single small table sat in the middle, lit candles on top of it. A small fireplace was located in one of the corners of the room, where the sound of wood burning could be heard.

"Oh, wow, this is so romantic," Lilo gasped before adding, with a certain tone of smugness, "we're _sooo_ lucky our table broke, aren't we, Keoni?"

"Yeah," he agreed, sitting down.

"Now nothing bad should happen," Lilo cheerfully said before coldly whispering "or _else_."

Stitch, now on the roof, was scolding himself for having made the date better. Why was it so hard to ruin a date, dangit? Well, no use in crying about spilt milk so he started thinking of his next option. Ruining the table hadn't work so his next option was the food. He quickly made his downstairs and waited patiently until the waiter came out the kitchen with the teenagers's food. Lilo's bright green soup gave the alien an idea.

"Meega sorry, Lilo," Stitch muttered. He followed the waiter and started producing as much as possible of his own slimy green saliva before he spat it all on the soup. Since both were green, Lilo wouldn't notice.

The waiter, who thankfully didn't notice the new addition to the soup, reached the teens and put down the plates on the table. "A burger for the gentleman and a spinach soup for the lady. Enjoy."

"Mm-mmm," Lilo said, looking at the soup. "This looks...good."

"My burger is delicious," Keoni exclaimed, taking another huge bite out of it.

Stitch, at the meantime, was looking intently at Lilo. A few years ago, he had licked her face while her mouth was open and the saliva had cause Lilo to feel terribly sick for at least two hours. And now, as long as she had at least one spoonful of the soup, she'd feel sick in less than five minutes and the date would be _over_.

Except...Lilo seemed to be avoiding eating. While Keoni chowed away his burger and fries, Lilo would simply stare at her soup with a rather disgusted expression. Stitch rolled his eyes- now she remembers she hates spinach, huh?

"How's your soup?" Keoni asked, his plate completely empty.

Lilo's disgusted expression disappeared instantly. "Oh! It's delicious," she lied, smiling at Keoni. "I mean, it's so good, I'm eating slowly so I can...uhh...enjoy it...uhm...more!"

Stitch facepalmed. There's no way Keoni would be dumb enough to buy that half-baked excuse.

"Oh, wow! That's a great idea! I should have done the same, ha ha!"

Huh, apparently he _was_ dumb enough.

"Say, Lilo," Keoni said suddenly, his voice hinting nervousness, "I...Well, I uhm...Is-Is it alright if I...uhm, kiss you?"

"K-kiss me?" Lilo squeaked, her face now a whole new shade of red. "S-sure."

Have you ever seen someone look so horrified, it's like you think they're going to freak out? That's how Stitch looked at that moment. Still attached to the ceiling, his mouth was hanging open and his eyes were open-wide. Lilo-_HIS_ Lilo- had just accepted getting _kissed_ by _Stinky-oni_? Oh man, what kind of horrible world was he in, anyway?

Stitch watched as Keoni started moving his face towards Lilo, who was doing the same thing. He...He couldn't let that _boy_ kiss Lilo! But if he interfered, Lilo would probably be so angry she'd make him sleep in the dog house! The _dog house_! Oooooh no no no, what should he do? What was more important, Lilo or not sleeping in the dog house?

Keoni was merely inches apart from Lilo.

Lilo or dog house?

Lilo?

Dog house?

Lilo and Keoni were closing their eyes and were just about to ki

"NAGA!" Stitch yelled launching himself at Lilo. He fell on top of her and, while Lilo toppled onto the floor, Stitch ended up on her chair, facing Keoni- and that's when the teenage boy pressed his lips on Stitch's.

Being a teen boy, Keoni had some insecurity problems so he felt it would be okay to quickly open his eyes just to make sure his date was enjoying the kiss. When he opened them, instead of finding Lilo, he saw a revolted-looking Stitch looking right back at him. Lilo, who was still on the floor, was staring at them, her mouth wide open.

Keoni pulled away immediately. "What the heck?"

Stitch remained motionless for a few moments before scrunching up his face and, at the top of his lungs, screaming, "AAAAAAARRRGHHH!" He jumped off the table (knocking down the soup) and started running hysterically around the room. "EWWWWWW." He suddenly stopped and started rubbing his hands furiously against his mouth. "Stitch naga want Keoni saliva! Naga nag na-"

"Stitch," Lilo interrupted.

Stitch immediately stopped talking. He could feel the blood draining from his body. Using all his will-power and courage, the alien slowly looked towards Lilo. She was standing up and oh dear, if looks could kill, Stitch would be dead ifor sure/i.

"Stitch," she said with such coldness it even made Keoni back away, "Go to the entrance of the restaurant where you're gonna wait until I finish. If I find out you moved from that spot even a single inch, so help me I'm going to"

"Okay, okay," Stitch interrupted, not wanting to hear the end of that sentence. As he left the room, he could still feel her cold glare on him.

After half an hour of sulking in front of the restaurant, Stitch saw Lilo and Keoni coming out. He grumpily got up and walked over to them, promptly sitting next to Lilo and continuing his sulking.

"Well, Lilo, I had a great time, despite of the, uh," he glanced at Stitch "distractions."

Lilo smiled kindly at him. "I did too, Keoni. Thank you for everything."

"Well," he said, grinning, "now it's back to your place." He held out his arm playfully and Lilo, grinning back at him, wrapped her arm around it and they started walking, Stitch grumpily following along.

During the walk back home, Stitch was trailing behind, having no interest whatsoever of hearing Lilo and Keoni's conversation. He was too busy picturing himself having to sleep alone in that old, cold dog house. And if that wasn't punishment enough, Lilo would probably scold him for hours on end about what he did. And then, whenever Nani found out that he had ruined the date, he'd have to sit through _her_ scolding. But he wasn't done yet because when Pleakley found out, Stitch would have to sit through HIS scolding too! Hmm, maybe he could tell that Jumba had let him out so that he'd have to be punished too. It was mean but Jumba _had_ programmed him to be evil, after all!

Feeling slightly better, Stitch noticed that they had reached his house. He looked at Lilo and Keoni, who were now saying their goodbyes.

"Okay, Lilo, I'll call you tomorrow, then?"

"Yep!"

"Okay, well, bye!" he said, walking away.

"Bye, Keoni! Thanks again for everything!" she answered, waving at him. Once he had disappeared of view, Lilo turned around and walked over to the front door of the house, ringing the doorbell a few times. Loud footsteps were heard and the door opened, Jumba behind it.

"Ah! Little Girl, you are back!" he greeted, "How was date with Little B-"

"Stitch got out and ruined part of the date," she interrupted, walking inside.

"He got out? Under my watch?" Jumba exclaimed, acting totally surprised. He then looked at Stitch and started waving a finger at him. "Naughty Six-two-six! Getting out of the hou-"

"You let him out, Jumba."

"Who? _Me_?" he gasped, looking very offended. "Why, Little Girl, I would never do that! I am offended by your wild accu-"

"Please, Jumba, I'm not dumb."

"Fine! Evil Genius admits itAnd you stop smirking, Six-two-six!"

Lilo watched as Jumba stomped away, muttering under his breath. She then looked towards the kitchen. "Nani! I'm home!"

"Hi! How was your date?" Nani yelled back. "Sorry I'm not going over there but I'm in the middle of cooking dinner."

Stitch held his breath. In a matter of seconds, Nani would find out what he did and the scoldings would start.

"It was great!" Lilo yelled back. "I had a really nice time. Anyway, I'm kinda tired so I'm going to bed. I'll tell you more tomorrow. Night!"

"Oh, okay then. Goodnight!"

Lilo walked away, leaving Stitch quite surprised. It looked like he had been saved of getting a scolding. He quickly went over to Lilo's room and found her putting on her pajamas. He then looked at his bed. "Oh, yeah"

With a certain air of melancholy, he went over to his bed and grabbed his pillow. He then started walking towards the door, hoping it wasn't too cold outside.

"Where are you going?"

Stitch turned around and saw Lilo looking at him. "Stitch was bad. Stitch sleep in dog house," he explained before sighing and going on his way.

"Oh, please, Mister Drama Queen, you don't have to sleep in the dog house," Lilo said, walking over to him, grabbing his pillow and throwing it on his bed.

"You're not going to punish Stitch?" he asked, surprised.

Lilo smiled. "Nah, Keoni wasn't angry about it and I think the 'kiss incident' was punishment enough for you." She giggled at Stitch's expression. "Besides, I think it's pretty cute you tried to ruin my date out of jealousy."

"Stitch not jealous!"

"Oh, puh-lease, Stitch. You've got jealousy oozing out of you like slime oozes out of the wasp mummies."

"Stitch isn't jealous," he said again, crossing his arms.

"Yes you are, silly," she teased, causing Stitch to smile. "Anyway, let's go to bed, I'm kinda tired."

Stitch nodded and jumped over to his bed, burying himself under the covers. "Night!"

"Night, Stitch," Lilo replied, getting into bed. She was about to close her eyes when she suddenly started smirking. "Hey, Stitch?"

"Yeah?"

"How did it feel like to get your first kiss, huuuuuuh?"

A pillow smacking her head was her answer.

* * *

**Minutes later, Nani came in to find a very vicious pillow fight going on.**

**SO, there was my first L&S fic ever 8D I hope you enjoyedd it and there should be a second part coming...uh...evantually XD**

**Thanks for reading!  
**


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